BY JONATHAN ABIMBOLA, OGUN STATE
”Excuse me, sir; what’s the difference between force and effect?” It was the voice of the driver sitting directly in front of me on-board the passenger bus on that Sunday afternoon. The straight-forward question was directed at me, having just finished my sermon to my fellow commuters.
Although I was not disposed to oblige him, not haven seen any correlation between that question and the just-concluded message, I decided to honour him. So, I tried my best to differentiate between the two words.
Interestingly, the man(driver) took over immediately and went ahead to answer his own question. He laboured needlessly to prove me wrong. But, he ended up betraying his hidden motive with that unnecessary exhibition of knowledge. An equally unsolicited introduction, blew the lid off his desperation for recognition. Hear him: “I studied Sociology and Anthropology (if I remember correctly) in the higher institution despite being here driving a cab today”
Hmmm… Lying within every one of us is that sneaky desire to be admired. All human beings without exception – the old and the young, the affluent and the less-privileged, the male and female gender – have this secret yearning for recognition and acknowledgement. It is a reality that none can deny.
For instance, the feminine folks are known for spending a huge chunk of their money on fashion. Talk about girls in their teen age, ladies in their twenties and thirties or women (married or single) in the upper age brackets – they all pay serious attention to beauty and physical appearance.
Hence, they commit much time and effort into acquiring trendy wears, shoes, handbags, cosmetics, jewelleries, wristwatches and other accessories, in order to look attractive and(or) get the admiration of people, especially the opposite sex.
On the other hand, the male gender often takes up very tough tasks and challenge more formidable opponents in combats to impress the girls/ladies they like or love. At times, young men take very risky actions while adolescent boys engage in various rigorous body-building exercises to “put on” the macho physique for the same reason.
Truth be told, many deeds are done daily to satisfy this silent need of man. That is why it is common to see people beam with smile of satisfaction at the drop of complimentary remarks. Such cheering words have proven to be confidence boosters. However, like everything else, this normal, natural desire can trigger weird, wacky behaviours if allowed to grow out of proportion.
One clear way leaving this silent cry for admiration unchecked can manifest is in form of craze for titles. Today, all kinds of empty and hilarious titles and appellations have been fabricated, and are being flaunted by people merely for vainglory. Of course, the use of professional titles for formality purposes and official designations within corporate circles is understandable.
Sadly, even religious leaders are not immune from the ”titlemania”. Cases also abound of scenarios where a person would refuse to answer to his names in public, especially at events or social gatherings simply because his title(s) was/were omitted mistakenly.
Again, it is safe to conclude that inferiority complex is often at the root of such excessive thirst for recognition. Or, how else can one explain the habit of borrowing clothes, shoes and expensive cars from friends to “dazzle” people at parties?
What logic lies in buying fashion fads you can hardly afford on credit just to create a false image of comfortability? Why live above your means just to feel good momentarily – at the expense of your future?
The good news, however, is that the innate desire can be harnessed for your maximum benefit. How exactly can it be done? First, you must accept yourself the way you are. That is, acknowledge your natural look, complexion, body shape, background, ethnic identity and current social status. There is no point denying your realities; it is no use struggling to live a lie.
You must resist the temptation to win cheap, fading recognition with bogus claims and make-believe luxury. Stop pretending to have what you don’t; stop saying you are what you are not.
In addition, you must identify your uniqueness as an individual. Oh yes, you are a peculiar being – totally different from everyone else in the world. You are endowed with certain natural abilities(talents) that can be – and should be – developed and deployed for humanity’s benefit. Hence, you don’t need to copy or compete with anyone for attention or applause. Therefore, put that crave for admiration under control.
